- Even today, many people still see women earning more than men as a problem, rather than a step toward equality.
- New research from Durham University Business School reveals that both men’s and women’s mental health suffer when women out-earn men in heterosexual relationships, highlighting how rigid gender roles harm everyone involved.
- True progress means dismantling harmful stereotypes, not making women smaller to preserve male comfort, and building a world where all couples thrive on equality.
“Travis Kelce’s annual salary is less than the ticket sales for a single Taylor Swift concert,” was the headline of a Business Insider article, published in 2023 when the rumours of a potential relationship between the NFL star and the billionaire musician first began circulating. The piece proceeded to lay out the estimated earnings of Kelce from his NFL career, various endorsements and podcast and highlighted that his wealth, whilst solidly in the millions, was a drop in the ocean when compared to his new girlfriend’s.
The article concludes; “None of this is to say Swift should or should not be dating Kelce. We’ll leave that to Swift herself. However, while we are often in awe of what athletes can make playing games, this is just a reminder that this is Taylor Swift’s world, and Kelce is just living in it.”
The subject of the couples’ wealth – and specifically how Swift’s far exceeds her partner’s, has continued to be a popular topic of discussion. Earlier this year when speculation over whether Kelce planned to return or retire for the 2025 NFL season and whether his pay or performance might be influencing his decision, former NFL receiver Chad Johnson commented during an interview that “Trust me, he’s good. He’s dating a billionaire.” However, despite Kelce’s accomplishments being continually overshadowed by his partner’s, he sets a refreshing example.
While he remains a highly successful football player in his own right, his significant fame and financial situation continue to pale in comparison to Swift’s – and he seems more than comfortable with that. The perceived ease of their relationship challenges the outdated belief that men must out-earn their partners to maintain their identity or status, and protect their wellbeing. This dynamic, which should be entirely normal in 2025, is still surprisingly rare. In a fair and just society, a woman earning more than her husband would never be a crisis. The only real question would be how to equally divide the housework without resentment, and how to settle on a comfortable budget.
Unfortunately, gender inequality in the home and in the workplace is alive and well. Unconscious biases such as gendered competency traps, the persistent overlooking of qualified women for senior roles, and even negative connotations for requesting flexibility in work arrangements all help to reinforce the illusionary belief that women are better suited for supporting rather than leadership roles, holding women back and leaving more and more space for men to dominate the workplace. This, coupled with ongoing gendered pay gaps and the motherhood tax (which causes a woman’s earnings to be penalised when she has a child while a man’s improves) make the barriers which work against female success even harder to overcome.
But when women do triumph and break through the glass ceiling, threatening this common yet unfair dynamic by earning more than their male counterparts, what reaction does this provoke?
New research suggests that many men continue to feel discomfort or distress, or even suffer mental health struggles when the traditional breadwinner roles are reversed.
​​Why Equal Earnings Still Feel Like a Crisis
The study conducted by Dr Demid Getik, an Assistant Professor in the economics department at Durham University Business School, explores how mental health is affected by differences in earnings within couples, and examines the connection between annual income rises for women and the number of mental health referrals for men over ten years.
Dr Getik’s research looked at a variety of heterosexual Swedish couples, married in 2001, to explore the long-term effects of income changes. The results showed that over a decade, the probability of receiving a mental health diagnosis increased as much as eight percent for all observed in the study, but as much as 11 percent for the men specifically.
Dr Getik’s findings were clear: as women earn more, the mental burden for men gets higher.
“The share of married couples where the wife is the primary earner is rising globally,” says Dr Getik. “In both the United States and in Sweden, it has increased by approximately 25% since the start of the millennium. The results provide tangible evidence of relative income in couples playing an important role in mental health outcomes, even in a largely egalitarian society like Sweden.” The findings provide an important insight for society, as the traditional male breadwinner set-up of families is quickly changing.
Interestingly, the types of mental health issues which arose were gendered too. For women, the study showed that they were more likely to experience neurotic and stress-related disorders. This differed from the results of the men who, when their wives took on the breadwinning role, often turned to substance abuse.
Undeniably, this is a problem.
The Male Breadwinner Model Is Bad for Men, Too
But, the solution to the problem is not to focus on how to make men more comfortable with women performing these roles, but to shed light on how unhelpful – and at worst, dangerous- gendered stereotypes around the nuclear family are for everyone.
For many men, acting as the sole breadwinner is not just a role they play to fulfill an expected responsibility: it’s a crucial aspect of their identity. So much so, when men are in the position to fulfill this role, it also comes at a high psychological price. The pressure and responsibility which come with being the only earner in the household can result in significant levels of stress and anxiety too.
This notion of the male breadwinner, despite its conventional nature, is fundamentally unnatural, and, as the study shows, subscribing to it as the ideal family structure can lead to negative health implications for the entire family unit.
Equal Pay Isn’t Just Fair – It’s Good for Mental Health
It is the gendered stereotypes regarding the nuclear family which cause harm, regardless of whether it is the husband or wife who is earning the most money. Continuing to enforce gendered norms in work and pay causes a significant psychological as well as professional detriment, and is limiting for both men and women.
Therefore, to ensure that breadwinning is no longer a gendered battleground where everybody loses, well-implemented DEI initiatives to foster equal pay and equal opportunities must be prioritised.
However, even in this space, gender biases still play a role. Research from the WZB Berlin Social Science Center and the University of Cologne shows that when companies prioritise women’s advancement or equal opportunities, women’s success is less likely to be seen as fair or attributed to intelligence and effort.
Tackling these biases is crucial-not just for fairness in the workplace, but so that couples are free to make life choices based on joy not judgment, free from outdated expectations and with their collective best interests at heart.
This is a sentiment Kelce seems to agree with, being a publicly enthusiastic fan of Swift’s accomplishments. From regularly attending her Eras tour dates and singing along in the crowd to even appearing wither her on stage, much to fans’ delight.
Appearing on The Stephen A Smith show in the US earlier this year he commented on the benefits of being in a happy, secure relationship, stating that having such confidence and comfort off the field has benefitted his own performance on the field, “That’s the beauty of being in a very strong relationship. You get that support to be able to come in and focus on your craft. Focus on being the best version of you… She loves coming to Arrowhead and coming to the games and cheering for me, so I got all the support in the world to keep chasing these dreams.”
By, Ella Coates
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